Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Slam Bunk!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 2

The celebrities bunked the class. Here is a compilation of their excuses -


Soniya Ji decided not to come to the class...
Manmohan Singh

The class was in Room Number 43...
Douglas Adams

There were no skyscrapers around.
Spiderman

I was hungry. There was no spoon...
Morpheus

I had a team meeting last night. It didn't end...
Techfest Manager

Everyone I met on the way was serious...
Joker

The force was with me... but it left my bike.
Master Yoda

Was doing my home assignment with Monica…
Bill Clinton

I should have taken the blue pill. Unfortunately, I took mess food instead...
Neo

I believe in distance education through educational home videos...
Pamela Anderson

The auto rickshaw driver refused my offer...
The Godfather

I had a dream. And then another one. And then another one. And so on...
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Didn't drink. Couldn't drive.
Salman Khan



P.S. - Rajnikanth used his exceptional skills to listen to the lecture from his room...




Finally a post after a long time. Was kept busy by huge amounts of work both on the academic and extra-curricular front. Also, I felt that the frequency of posts was too high and the jokes were getting repetitive. So I decided to let it rest for a while. As always, will be waiting for more in the comments.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Poll Dance

Friday, July 3, 2009 3

The celebrities are contesting the elections. Here’s a compilation of their promises and manifesto points -


Will stop playing cricket.
Sourav Ganguly

Will clean all the webs I left on the buildings while performing stunts.
Spiderman

Will do nothing.
George Bush

Will kill Baa and all other characters above a 100 years.
Ekta Kapoor

Will divorce Aishwarya Rai.
Abhishek Bachchan

Will donate my personal ammunition reserve to the army.
Osama Bin Laden

Will introduce reservations for girls in IIT.
Arjun Singh (when campaigning inside IIT)

Will associate with Paris Hilton this time to provide 'quality' scandals for the masses.
Bill Clinton

Will restore equality among all integers and end discrimination among numbers.
Douglas Adams

Everyone has 'big' expectations. I shall fulfill them all...
Pamela Anderson

Will replace boring chair fights with cat fights among playmates in Parliament.
Hugh Hefner



And here are a few Celebrity Election Slogans -


I am the one.
Neo

You have already made me your choice. You don't need to understand it.
Oracle

The Real Slim Shady stands up.
Eminem

Will put a smile on everyone's face.
Joker



P.S. - Dev Anand couldn't stand in the elections. He is STILL underage.




Finally a post that is completely mine. I am afraid you will find the variety of last few posts absent which was the result of multiple contributors. As always waiting for more slogans/promises in comments. Will publish the good ones…

Friday, June 26, 2009

Counseling Blues!

Friday, June 26, 2009 22

What would the celebrities advise the students if they had been the counsellors for JEE 2009?


To B.E. or not to B.E., is out of the question…
Shakespeare

Neo, there are no girls.
Morpheus

How would I know? I am still a kid.
Dev Anand

Download my 'counselling' video from the LAN...
Paris Hilton

42? Hmm... Computer Science, IIT Bombay.
Douglas Adams

Depends. What ethnicity suits your taste?
Hannibal Lectar


Security at Main Gate: Student?
JEE qualified candidate: NO...
Security: Cow?
JEE qualified student: No
Security: No Entry...


You will remember this as the day you almost got IIT Bombay.
Jack Sparrow

I suggest KV, IIT Powai Branch (Kendriya Vidyalaya)...
Late Michael Jackson

Te rimaka bosa daaa...
Gulti

Only two things are infinite: Universe and boys-to-babes ratio in IIT, and I am not sure about the universe.
Einstein


60,000 participants, over 500 colleges, 4 days of mayhem - Mood Indigo - Asia's largest college cultural festival... Come live your passion…
MI CG

For academic calendar, counselling brochure, go to www.moodi.org
MI Web CG


’Generally’ nahi ho payega...
Arjun Singh

I came, I saw, I counseled.
Julius Ceaser

IIT? - Isnt that the college that has WMD's? (Women of Masculine Disposition)
George Bush

You are just maid for IIT...
Shiney Ahuja


You will be back... next year.
Terminator (to AIR 6000)

Hasta la Vista, baby!
Terminator (to AIR >7000)



You dont need no education...
Pink Floyd

You have already made the choice. You just don’t understand it yet.
Oracle

Let's put a spike on your resume.
Joker


Readers Speak:


Sab mohmaya hai…
Actual Counseling Student

Contributed By Niranjan Parab



Chal daaru peene chalte hain…
Arvind Kr. Singh

Contributed By Mayank Singhal



They say getting into IIT is tough… Well, try getting out of here. (Evil Grin)
Director, IIT Bombay.

Think beyond the IIT’s. I shall give you a free laptop.
Arindam Choudhary

Contributed By Nitish Wagle aka Dempo



Thanks to Arvind and Siddharth Shah for suggestions and ideas. Special thanks to Sailesh Mohapatra for contributing excellent quotes. Not to forget Antariksh for his insight. Waiting for more quotes in comments section. As always, will publish the best ones. Also check out the upcoming posts section on the right hand side column.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Mood High

Thursday, June 18, 2009 8

What would you like to see/attend at Mood Indigo 2009?


A workshop on shaving…
Veerappan

Nerve gas lounge for Jews.
Adolf Hitler

A Duck Hunt arcade game...
Dick Cheney

Slap Bets…
Shreesanth

Stacy's Mom
Stacy’s Friend

NASA protest against DOSA.
The MI OC’s



KKKKKKKKKKK.....KKKK..Karan (johar)
Shahrukh Khan

Shahrukh
Karan Johar

A Gay Rights Rally…
Shahrukh and Karan



Everything except Mika.
Rakhi Sawant

He's got the look…
Bobby Darling

Mood Indigo's Most Wanted
Osama Bin Laden



Protests by PETO (People for Ethical Treatment of Organizers)
Organizers

Nude protests by PETO (People for Ethical Treatment of Organizers)
Coordinators




No idiots, I am already dealing with 3...
Raju Hirani

Kindergarten kids. Loads of them...
Michael Jackson

(still blinking his eyes, response awaited)
Atal Bihari Vajpayee

(Errr... Sorry. We wouldn't like to see YOU here.)
Britney Spears




Thakur HANDing over prizes to winners of HAND painting competition
Gabbar Singh

Contributed By Aditya Shekhawat



A talk on ‘Bai’sexuality...
Shiney Ahuja

A ballet dancing workshop...
Sumo Wrestlers from Parle Lite Bourbons Advertisment

Contributed By Mayur Shrinivasan



As always, thanks to Arvind and Mayank for suggestions and ideas. Special thanks to Siddharth Shah for contributing excellent quotes. Surprisingly, there are hardly any quotes in this post that are mine, all thanks to these guys. Waiting for more quotes in comments section. As always, will publish the best ones. Also check out the upcoming posts section on the right hand side column.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Pick Her Up!

Sunday, June 14, 2009 24

Celeb Pick-Up Lines:

The celebrities are at a party and they see a hot chick beyond their wildest dreams. This is a compilation of pick up lines they used...


I have already made reservations for you.
Arjun Singh

If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Vodafone Dog

I came, I stared, I coveted.
Julius Ceaser

May I put a smile on your face...
Joker

Can I have you for dinner?
Hannibal Lectar

Doggy style comes naturally to me.
Scooby Doo

Wanna see how Jolly my Roger is?
Jack Sparrow

You are looking finger lickin' good.
Colonel Sanders (Of KFC fame)

Can I read your T-shirt in braille?
Louie Braille

Your house or mine?
Dr. House, M.D

They don't call it bedrock without a reason, you know.
Fred Flintstone

How about you take this pill and I show you how deep your rabbit hole goes?
Morpheus

I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus!
Neil Armstrong

Tea, Coffee or me?
Waiter

69
Douglas Adams


Readers Speak:


I want to login into your window.
Bill Gates

I got Apple. Will you be my Eve?
Steve Jobs

You are a hot feMAIL...
Sabeer Bhatia

Contributed By Paras Jain





What Ho!
Bertram Wooster

Contributed By Bharat Jakati



This post I feel may be a little elitist and difficult to understand as loads of wordplay and puns involved there... I have posted a guide to understanding it in comments section...

Thanks to Arvind for a few lines, as well as the internet for a few more...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Confessions

Thursday, June 11, 2009 26

Deepest, darkest celebrity secrets are revealed in these quotes:


Watson does all the thinking.
Sherlock Holmes

It's 43! There was a calculation error.
Douglas Adams

I came and I saw... on a tourist visa.
Julius Ceaser

I had to pay every one of them... &*^%$ whores!
Barney Stinson

I did it coz the pig called me ‘chicken’.
Chicken which crossed the road.

She wasn't smiling. Her face is crooked.
Leonardo Da Vinci

How do you operate the mouse?
Bill Gates

Actually, it's a crystal ball...
Hari Seldon

I mispronounced... Let there be fight.
God (on 8th day)

I have a wet dream.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Adam, this isn’t your kid...
Eve


Readers Speak:



Meow… Meow…
Scooby Doo

Contributed By Paras Jain




As always, thanks to Arvind and Antariksh for suggestions and ideas. Special thanks to mayank for coding these awesome dialogue boxes. Do comment…

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Star-casm

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 8

You know they are being sarcastic when they say:

Hum do hamare do.
Laloo Yadav

Hum do.
IITian



Every human being has his limitations.
Neo

I agree.
Rajnikanth



I think...
George Bush

Me too...
Laloo Yadav



I am too old for this shit.
Dev Anand

I came here to take part in a protest rally.
Osama Bin Laden

Go Veg!
Hannibal Lectar

Baa died yesterday.
Ekta Kapoor

Free Hugs!
Mayawati

Pink is gay!
Paris Hilton

40
Douglas Adams

I was not staring…
Adam


Readers Speak:


I used to drink Bournvita.
Benjamin Button

Contributed By Paras Jain



I love HER.
Michael Jackson

Contributed By Mehul Jain



I have a niche audience.
Chetan Bhagat

Contributed By Mukul Gupta



I am hoping you guys contribute more quotes through comments. Will publish the good ones...

Thanks to Antariksh, Mayank and Arvind for suggestions, as always...

 
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