Lift Kara De!

Time for some experimentation. Here’s a conversation in quotes involving our very-own friendly neighbourhood celebs, that ensued while travelling in a lift when it suddenly stopped mid-way -

Et tu lift, eh?

Julius Caesar

Neo, there is no motion

Morpheus

(screams) Oh gravity, now don't try to be a heartless bitch.

Sheldon Cooper

I think I can convince my producers to send in 3 auto-rickshaw drivers cum saviours who can rescue us while wielding their battered, smoke-chugging, rickety autos.

Himesh Reshammiya

Damn! I should have brought my playmates for the ride

Hugh Hefner

Everyone Back off! You cant take more space. 27% of the lift and auto is reserved for Old Bald Congressmen...

Arjun Singh

Stick to the walls!

Malhar Organizer

I have tremendous appetite. May I have a few volunteers in order to free up some space?

Hannibal Lectar

Alimentary, my dear Lectar!

Sherlock Holmes

Not that I haven't been in a stopped lift with 10 other men before, but usually they take my consent before the emergency stop!

Paris Hilton

Am I having a dream?

Martin Luther King (looking at Paris)

A Midsummer's wet dream...

Shakespeare (drooling at Paris)

I'll be coming.

Terminator

The little slim shady stands up...

Eminem

Lock and load!

Colonel Sanders

Stop! No one makes her an offer she can't refuse!

Godfather

We need to discuss why first. It has to be a team decision…

Techfest Manager

Natural selection dictates survival of the fittest!

Charles Darwin (to Paris)

(descends into chaos)

Let loose ligaments locking lift, living legends lecherously lust after luscious lady, lest little longfellows levitate. Litigation lacerates.

V (V for Vendetta)

Screw her, guys! I'm going home...

Eric Cartman

Please comment on how you found the post. Thanks to Ankit Baraskar and Arpan Saha for contributing a quote each. I can switch back to older kind of posts or try a few more of these if people so demand. That’s all folks!

Hire for Higher!

Its placement season! The celebs are applying for jobs/internships. Here is a collection of points from their CV/SOP -

Established the usefulness of slack, distracted clerks in the office through my own example...

Einstein for Head of World Clerks Association

Used silicon technology to create two perky portable anti aircraft guns, poised suitably to make the enemy come and take 'em down

Pamela Anderson for US Air Force

Set new style standards for laziness by parting the sea rather than boarding a ship...

Moses for Jew Style Icon

Exemplified devotion to the cause of pitch black sunglasses by enduring them even during the nights

Neo for Sales Representative of Rayban

Ensured fitness of all the cows of Bihar by sending them on a strict dieting regimen by withdrawing all fodder from the state...

Laloo Yadav for Fitness Instructor

You should make me a job offer I cannot refuse...

Godfather

Successfully survived being surrounded and courted by 15 guys at the same time, not liking any one of them and still prevailed

Rakhi Sawant for H-10 Warden

Proficient at the game with an unbeaten track record of hiding. Can bomb/attack the opponents in no time

Osama Bin Laden for American Team to World Hide and Seek Championship

Have world-class experience in furthering distance education through home-made videos of ingenious nature and popular demand

Paris Hilton for Internship at CDEEP

Immeasurable experience in talking and listening to crap, all night long, non-stop without drowsiness and side effects on mental health...

Techfest Manager for Technical Advisor to Satsang Committee

Immeasurable experience in talking and listening to crap, non-stop, without drowsiness and side effects on mental health...

Random Philosopher for Techfest Manager

Have extensive past experience in selling hot chicks to a crowd of lost and innocent boys...

Mood Indigo Hospitality CG for Speaker of Anti-Gay Democratic Front

< Image > Topless sunbathing < /Image >

Salman Khan for Convener of No T-shirt Club

P.S. – All the above jobs were taken up by Rajnikanth taking his job count to 99987645

It’s been a very long time since I posted. My joblessness at my intern inspired me to. Credits to Arvind for the Pamela Anderson quote. As always, will be waiting for more suggestions from the readers in the comments.