F My Life!

Another week, another post. This time it's about celebrity FML entries. FML stands for Fuck My Life. FMyLife is an English-language blog that serves as "a recollection of everyday anecdotes likely to happen to anyone". Posts on the site are short, user-submitted stories of unfortunate happenings that begin with "Today" and end with "FML". FMyLife receives more than 1.7 million hits each day. Here is a collection of likely celeb FML entries -

I have been scandal-free for two months. FML.

Paris Hilton

My girlfriend dumped me. FML.

Typical Guy

My boyfriend thinks my new top makes me look fat. FML.

Typical Girl

My suit and pant have been up for the past 1 month. FML.

Barney Stinson

They patched my scar. FML.

Harry Potter

I tried 4 hours to solve a rebus. Turns out, it was a drawing by my 4 year old sister. FML.

Literati Convener

The wall fell down. FML.

Malhar Organizer

Eve got herself something to wear. FML.

Adam

The course registration for the semester got over. FML.

General Secretary of Academic Affairs

My meeting got over in 10 minutes. FML.

Techfest Manager

My heroine has bad breath. FML.

Emraan Hashmi

I lost my towel. FML.

Douglas Adams

I went to a dance workshop by in-sync. It was only for boys. FML.

Freshman

I went to a dance workshop by in-sync. FML.

Sophomore

Why isn't there a FM portal? FML.

Pamela Anderson

Neo gifted me a spoon. FML.

Morpheus

By the way, God has given up trying to fuck Rajnikanth's life. Twice.

Reader's Speak:

I dare you to. FML.

Chuck Norris

They made me take a bath! FML.

Robert Pattinson.(Edward Cullen in Twilight)

He still didn't brush his teeth! FML.

Kirsten Stewart, on above.

Its 43. FML.

Douglas Adams

Contributed by Ankit Baraskar

Arvind is moving out of my room! FML!

Nikunj Jha

Mathematics can't explain this. FML!

Manas Rachh

Contributed by Neha Rambhia

There are no reservations in heaven. FML.

Arjun Singh

Contributed by Ayush Baheti

I read Nikunj's blog. FML.

Blog Reader

Contributed by Anonymous Reader

Please comment. At least give your opinion on how you found it by checking one of the boxes below. Feedback is most welcome. I would be glad to add your quotes and listen to your suggestions for the blog. Just post a comment. That’s all folks!

One Idiot!

Why did the freshman cross the road? Here's how the celebrities replied when asked the above question -

Shit happens.

Forrest Gump

To come over to the dark side...

Lord Voldemort

Because, he knew the art of leaving ...

Shri Shri Ravishankar

To go to the Laxmi's bar...

Senior

Tell him to not do that anymore when I am driving...

Salman Khan

Obviously, to fill up the 3rd draft of the pre-pre registration form version 3.4 in solitude...

General Secretary of Academic Affairs

Son, asking that question makes you guilty of ragging...

Dean of Student Affairs

Not everyone can part the road, you know...

Moses

WTF! Only Maharashtrian freshmen should be allowed to cross the road...

Bal Thackery

He did not cross the road as I received no such tweet from him...

Devanshu Mathur

Well, he wasn't organizer material anyway...

Techfest Manager

To go to Stanford...

Niranjan Parab (Toit)

Screw you guys! He was going home...

Eric Cartman

Oh my God! Was he stalking me?

Hostel 10 Girl 1

Obviously, no. You're not that good. He was following me...

Hostel 10 Girl 2

Give it a rest, ladies. He was following me...

The Chicken who crossed the road

To buy sutta for the senior ...

The Freshman who crossed the road

Hey, stick to the wall, goddamit!

Malhar Organizer

And then here we are again. Please comment if you liked the post. Submit your suggestions and quotes. And most importantly, rate the post on the bar below...

Mobile Assets!

The celebs are all in a mobile shop. Some are looking to buy, others are looking to sell. Lets have a look -

With great power, comes great standby time!

Spiderman

Wish an Apple would fall on my head...

Isaac Newton

The first rule of the chinese mobile store is that you do not talk about the chinese mobile store.

Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

I need a phone to satisfy my MMS needs...

Hugh Hefner

Neo, there is no discount.

Morpheus

We offer special discount on mobiles stolen from our prize room...

College Festival Manager

I want a 3G phone with GPS, music player and a 5mp camera.

Typical Guy

I want a cute, pink and slim phone that matches my top!

Typical Girl

Think beyond the Blackberrys. I will give you a free laptop.

Arindam Choudhary

98232 43245

Douglas Adams

Electronic cell is out of fashion, sir. Entrepreneurship cell is the new rage...

E-Cell Manager

May the network be with you...

Master Yoda

Make me an offer I can't refuse...

The Godfather

My hobby - Going to mobile store and asking for mobile bombs to freak out the customers...

Randall Munroe

The mobiles are expensive and complicated. But, there's always www.fencibility.com...

Eeshan Malhotra

Toit Fundae Part 4: Mobile phone c**tiya hai. Who's going to stanford?

Toit

Contributed By Ankit Baraskar

Waiting for more quotes in comments section. As always, will publish the best ones. Also check out the new facebook connect gadget on the right hand side column.