Counseling Blues!

What would the celebrities advise the students if they had been the counsellors for JEE 2009?

To B.E. or not to B.E., is out of the question…

Shakespeare

Neo, there are no girls.

Morpheus

How would I know? I am still a kid.

Dev Anand

Download my 'counselling' video from the LAN...

Paris Hilton

42? Hmm... Computer Science, IIT Bombay.

Douglas Adams

Depends. What ethnicity suits your taste?

Hannibal Lectar

Security at Main Gate: Student?
JEE qualified candidate: NO...
Security: Cow?
JEE qualified student: No
Security: No Entry...

You will remember this as the day you almost got IIT Bombay.

Jack Sparrow

I suggest KV, IIT Powai Branch (Kendriya Vidyalaya)...

Late Michael Jackson

Te rimaka bosa daaa...

Gulti

Only two things are infinite: Universe and boys-to-babes ratio in IIT, and I am not sure about the universe.

Einstein

60,000 participants, over 500 colleges, 4 days of mayhem - Mood Indigo - Asia's largest college cultural festival... Come live your passion…

MI CG

For academic calendar, counselling brochure, go to www.moodi.org

MI Web CG

’Generally’ nahi ho payega...

Arjun Singh

I came, I saw, I counseled.

Julius Ceaser

IIT? - Isnt that the college that has WMD's? (Women of Masculine Disposition)

George Bush

You are just maid for IIT...

Shiney Ahuja

You will be back... next year.

Terminator (to AIR 6000)

Hasta la Vista, baby!

Terminator (to AIR >7000)

You dont need no education...

Pink Floyd

You have already made the choice. You just don’t understand it yet.

Oracle

Let's put a spike on your resume.

Joker

Readers Speak:

Sab mohmaya hai…

Actual Counseling Student

Contributed By Niranjan Parab

Chal daaru peene chalte hain…

Arvind Kr. Singh

Contributed By Mayank Singhal

They say getting into IIT is tough… Well, try getting out of here. (Evil Grin)

Director, IIT Bombay.

Think beyond the IIT’s. I shall give you a free laptop.

Arindam Choudhary

Contributed By Nitish Wagle aka Dempo

Thanks to Arvind and Siddharth Shah for suggestions and ideas. Special thanks to Sailesh Mohapatra for contributing excellent quotes. Not to forget Antariksh for his insight. Waiting for more quotes in comments section. As always, will publish the best ones. Also check out the upcoming posts section on the right hand side column.

Pick Her Up!

Celeb Pick-Up Lines:

The celebrities are at a party and they see a hot chick beyond their wildest dreams. This is a compilation of pick up lines they used...

I have already made reservations for you.

Arjun Singh

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Vodafone Dog

I came, I stared, I coveted.

Julius Ceaser

May I put a smile on your face...

Joker

Can I have you for dinner?

Hannibal Lectar

Doggy style comes naturally to me.

Scooby Doo

Wanna see how Jolly my Roger is?

Jack Sparrow

You are looking finger lickin' good.

Colonel Sanders (Of KFC fame)

Can I read your T-shirt in braille?

Louie Braille

Your house or mine?

Dr. House, M.D

They don't call it bedrock without a reason, you know.

Fred Flintstone

How about you take this pill and I show you how deep your rabbit hole goes?

Morpheus

I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus!

Neil Armstrong

Tea, Coffee or me?

Waiter

69

Douglas Adams

Readers Speak:

I want to login into your window.

Bill Gates

I got Apple. Will you be my Eve?

Steve Jobs

You are a hot feMAIL...

Sabeer Bhatia

Contributed By Paras Jain

What Ho!

Bertram Wooster

Contributed By Bharat Jakati

This post I feel may be a little elitist and difficult to understand as loads of wordplay and puns involved there... I have posted a guide to understanding it in comments section...

Thanks to Arvind for a few lines, as well as the internet for a few more...