Showing posts with label Rajnikanth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rajnikanth. Show all posts

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hire for Higher!

Thursday, May 20, 2010 2

Its placement season! The celebs are applying for jobs/internships. Here is a collection of points from their CV/SOP -


Established the usefulness of slack, distracted clerks in the office through my own example...
Einstein for Head of World Clerks Association

Used silicon technology to create two perky portable anti aircraft guns, poised suitably to make the enemy come and take 'em down
Pamela Anderson for US Air Force

Set new style standards for laziness by parting the sea rather than boarding a ship...
Moses for Jew Style Icon

Exemplified devotion to the cause of pitch black sunglasses by enduring them even during the nights
Neo for Sales Representative of Rayban

Ensured fitness of all the cows of Bihar by sending them on a strict dieting regimen by withdrawing all fodder from the state...
Laloo Yadav for Fitness Instructor

You should make me a job offer I cannot refuse...
Godfather

Successfully survived being surrounded and courted by 15 guys at the same time, not liking any one of them and still prevailed
Rakhi Sawant for H-10 Warden

Proficient at the game with an unbeaten track record of hiding. Can bomb/attack the opponents in no time
Osama Bin Laden for American Team to World Hide and Seek Championship

Have world-class experience in furthering distance education through home-made videos of ingenious nature and popular demand
Paris Hilton for Internship at CDEEP



Immeasurable experience in talking and listening to crap, all night long, non-stop without drowsiness and side effects on mental health...
Techfest Manager for Technical Advisor to Satsang Committee

Immeasurable experience in talking and listening to crap, non-stop, without drowsiness and side effects on mental health...
Random Philosopher for Techfest Manager



Have extensive past experience in selling hot chicks to a crowd of lost and innocent boys...
Mood Indigo Hospitality CG for Speaker of Anti-Gay Democratic Front

< Image > Topless sunbathing < /Image >
Salman Khan for Convener of No T-shirt Club



P.S. – All the above jobs were taken up by Rajnikanth taking his job count to 99987645




It’s been a very long time since I posted. My joblessness at my intern inspired me to. Credits to Arvind for the Pamela Anderson quote. As always, will be waiting for more suggestions from the readers in the comments.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Slam Bunk!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 2

The celebrities bunked the class. Here is a compilation of their excuses -


Soniya Ji decided not to come to the class...
Manmohan Singh

The class was in Room Number 43...
Douglas Adams

There were no skyscrapers around.
Spiderman

I was hungry. There was no spoon...
Morpheus

I had a team meeting last night. It didn't end...
Techfest Manager

Everyone I met on the way was serious...
Joker

The force was with me... but it left my bike.
Master Yoda

Was doing my home assignment with Monica…
Bill Clinton

I should have taken the blue pill. Unfortunately, I took mess food instead...
Neo

I believe in distance education through educational home videos...
Pamela Anderson

The auto rickshaw driver refused my offer...
The Godfather

I had a dream. And then another one. And then another one. And so on...
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Didn't drink. Couldn't drive.
Salman Khan



P.S. - Rajnikanth used his exceptional skills to listen to the lecture from his room...




Finally a post after a long time. Was kept busy by huge amounts of work both on the academic and extra-curricular front. Also, I felt that the frequency of posts was too high and the jokes were getting repetitive. So I decided to let it rest for a while. As always, will be waiting for more in the comments.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Star-casm

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 7

You know they are being sarcastic when they say:

Hum do hamare do.
Laloo Yadav

Hum do.
IITian



Every human being has his limitations.
Neo

I agree.
Rajnikanth



I think...
George Bush

Me too...
Laloo Yadav



I am too old for this shit.
Dev Anand

I came here to take part in a protest rally.
Osama Bin Laden

Go Veg!
Hannibal Lectar

Baa died yesterday.
Ekta Kapoor

Free Hugs!
Mayawati

Pink is gay!
Paris Hilton

40
Douglas Adams

I was not staring…
Adam


Readers Speak:


I used to drink Bournvita.
Benjamin Button

Contributed By Paras Jain



I love HER.
Michael Jackson

Contributed By Mehul Jain



I have a niche audience.
Chetan Bhagat

Contributed By Mukul Gupta



I am hoping you guys contribute more quotes through comments. Will publish the good ones...

Thanks to Antariksh, Mayank and Arvind for suggestions, as always...

 
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