Showing posts with label Osama Bin Laden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Osama Bin Laden. Show all posts

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hire for Higher!

Thursday, May 20, 2010 2

Its placement season! The celebs are applying for jobs/internships. Here is a collection of points from their CV/SOP -


Established the usefulness of slack, distracted clerks in the office through my own example...
Einstein for Head of World Clerks Association

Used silicon technology to create two perky portable anti aircraft guns, poised suitably to make the enemy come and take 'em down
Pamela Anderson for US Air Force

Set new style standards for laziness by parting the sea rather than boarding a ship...
Moses for Jew Style Icon

Exemplified devotion to the cause of pitch black sunglasses by enduring them even during the nights
Neo for Sales Representative of Rayban

Ensured fitness of all the cows of Bihar by sending them on a strict dieting regimen by withdrawing all fodder from the state...
Laloo Yadav for Fitness Instructor

You should make me a job offer I cannot refuse...
Godfather

Successfully survived being surrounded and courted by 15 guys at the same time, not liking any one of them and still prevailed
Rakhi Sawant for H-10 Warden

Proficient at the game with an unbeaten track record of hiding. Can bomb/attack the opponents in no time
Osama Bin Laden for American Team to World Hide and Seek Championship

Have world-class experience in furthering distance education through home-made videos of ingenious nature and popular demand
Paris Hilton for Internship at CDEEP



Immeasurable experience in talking and listening to crap, all night long, non-stop without drowsiness and side effects on mental health...
Techfest Manager for Technical Advisor to Satsang Committee

Immeasurable experience in talking and listening to crap, non-stop, without drowsiness and side effects on mental health...
Random Philosopher for Techfest Manager



Have extensive past experience in selling hot chicks to a crowd of lost and innocent boys...
Mood Indigo Hospitality CG for Speaker of Anti-Gay Democratic Front

< Image > Topless sunbathing < /Image >
Salman Khan for Convener of No T-shirt Club



P.S. – All the above jobs were taken up by Rajnikanth taking his job count to 99987645




It’s been a very long time since I posted. My joblessness at my intern inspired me to. Credits to Arvind for the Pamela Anderson quote. As always, will be waiting for more suggestions from the readers in the comments.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Poll Dance

Friday, July 3, 2009 3

The celebrities are contesting the elections. Here’s a compilation of their promises and manifesto points -


Will stop playing cricket.
Sourav Ganguly

Will clean all the webs I left on the buildings while performing stunts.
Spiderman

Will do nothing.
George Bush

Will kill Baa and all other characters above a 100 years.
Ekta Kapoor

Will divorce Aishwarya Rai.
Abhishek Bachchan

Will donate my personal ammunition reserve to the army.
Osama Bin Laden

Will introduce reservations for girls in IIT.
Arjun Singh (when campaigning inside IIT)

Will associate with Paris Hilton this time to provide 'quality' scandals for the masses.
Bill Clinton

Will restore equality among all integers and end discrimination among numbers.
Douglas Adams

Everyone has 'big' expectations. I shall fulfill them all...
Pamela Anderson

Will replace boring chair fights with cat fights among playmates in Parliament.
Hugh Hefner



And here are a few Celebrity Election Slogans -


I am the one.
Neo

You have already made me your choice. You don't need to understand it.
Oracle

The Real Slim Shady stands up.
Eminem

Will put a smile on everyone's face.
Joker



P.S. - Dev Anand couldn't stand in the elections. He is STILL underage.




Finally a post that is completely mine. I am afraid you will find the variety of last few posts absent which was the result of multiple contributors. As always waiting for more slogans/promises in comments. Will publish the good ones…

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Mood High

Thursday, June 18, 2009 7

What would you like to see/attend at Mood Indigo 2009?


A workshop on shaving…
Veerappan

Nerve gas lounge for Jews.
Adolf Hitler

A Duck Hunt arcade game...
Dick Cheney

Slap Bets…
Shreesanth

Stacy's Mom
Stacy’s Friend

NASA protest against DOSA.
The MI OC’s



KKKKKKKKKKK.....KKKK..Karan (johar)
Shahrukh Khan

Shahrukh
Karan Johar

A Gay Rights Rally…
Shahrukh and Karan



Everything except Mika.
Rakhi Sawant

He's got the look…
Bobby Darling

Mood Indigo's Most Wanted
Osama Bin Laden



Protests by PETO (People for Ethical Treatment of Organizers)
Organizers

Nude protests by PETO (People for Ethical Treatment of Organizers)
Coordinators




No idiots, I am already dealing with 3...
Raju Hirani

Kindergarten kids. Loads of them...
Michael Jackson

(still blinking his eyes, response awaited)
Atal Bihari Vajpayee

(Errr... Sorry. We wouldn't like to see YOU here.)
Britney Spears




Thakur HANDing over prizes to winners of HAND painting competition
Gabbar Singh

Contributed By Aditya Shekhawat



A talk on ‘Bai’sexuality...
Shiney Ahuja

A ballet dancing workshop...
Sumo Wrestlers from Parle Lite Bourbons Advertisment

Contributed By Mayur Shrinivasan



As always, thanks to Arvind and Mayank for suggestions and ideas. Special thanks to Siddharth Shah for contributing excellent quotes. Surprisingly, there are hardly any quotes in this post that are mine, all thanks to these guys. Waiting for more quotes in comments section. As always, will publish the best ones. Also check out the upcoming posts section on the right hand side column.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Star-casm

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 7

You know they are being sarcastic when they say:

Hum do hamare do.
Laloo Yadav

Hum do.
IITian



Every human being has his limitations.
Neo

I agree.
Rajnikanth



I think...
George Bush

Me too...
Laloo Yadav



I am too old for this shit.
Dev Anand

I came here to take part in a protest rally.
Osama Bin Laden

Go Veg!
Hannibal Lectar

Baa died yesterday.
Ekta Kapoor

Free Hugs!
Mayawati

Pink is gay!
Paris Hilton

40
Douglas Adams

I was not staring…
Adam


Readers Speak:


I used to drink Bournvita.
Benjamin Button

Contributed By Paras Jain



I love HER.
Michael Jackson

Contributed By Mehul Jain



I have a niche audience.
Chetan Bhagat

Contributed By Mukul Gupta



I am hoping you guys contribute more quotes through comments. Will publish the good ones...

Thanks to Antariksh, Mayank and Arvind for suggestions, as always...

 
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